My journey here has not been easy. But I would not trade it for anything. It certainly has been an interesting one. I have learned a lot along the way. I have learned quite about myself, about my husband whom I have been married to for 31 years. We’re looking forward to the next 31 years. I also learned a lot about people and life in general.
Here’s my favorite quote and it is from Helen Keller: Life is either a daring adventure or its nothing at all.
One of these days it will be tattooed on me. I have one tattoo already.
I have and still do tried to live my life to the fullest. I have and still do try to pursue things that I wonder and dream about. I figure that since I only have one life to live, I might as well try them to see if they are at all possible. Sometimes I have amazed myself. I have learned that failure is just a learning process. You just pick yourself up and learn from it, and go on.
I also want another tattoo – one that will say, Grace.
I was given grace, but to forgive yourself is the hardest thing to do. I learned that you will make mistakes in life ~ small ones, big ones and giant ones. I learned that your loved ones will make them as well. It is easier to forgive others than it is yourself. We are so hard on ourselves. I ponder on that often.
Peace only comes when you can forgive yourself. That I know. Some days I think I have forgiven myself. Some days I think not. Here’s my mantra: “I am what I am and what I am is wonderful.” I may be a slow learner, but I am slowly coming around – that I am . . . alright. I am ok. I have a purpose. I am a pretty cool person. I have something to offer and contribute. I am what I am and what I am is wonderful.
I’ll say it like it is.
As I have gotten older, I have slowly begun to open up more. In the past, I have censored myself. Kept a lot of my thoughts to myself in fear of hurting others, fear of rejection, or whatever odd reasons. These days I work on crafting my words and say them carefully. Sometimes it does not quite come out quite the way I intended, but at least I am talking. Sometimes I will just say it like it is.
Do me a favor. Let’s get better at listening. That is the one thing that I find that is challenging. As I am learning how to share my thoughts, people are poor listeners. You are so lucky to have me – as a deaf person who has to lip read, I have to listen. I don’t have a choice. I have to pick up every word that is said. That is the difference between you and me.
Maybe as I get older, my thoughts will be more blunt. I don’t know. Time will tell. I just hope that I will be kinder to myself by then.